Feeling Awkward, But Hey, E

This is probably going to be the shortest letter I’m ever going to write, at least for this series. But, let’s get on with it.

I’m feeling awkward, but hey, E.

*Taps on the keypad for about 2 minutes*

We haven’t actually talked face to face, but you were the first “real” boy to capture my pre-teen heart… unfortunately. Okay, I should lecture myself with the ‘unfortunately,’ but I couldn’t help it. And when I say ‘real,’ I just meant my first actual crush – like my first, first crush – the one that made my heart go “boom boom” – I’m rambling. I’ll stop. Back to topic.

My first ever crush in this life was Taylor Lautner. Yes, Mr. Sharkboy… the werewolf from the Twilight saga.

And, as much as I would’ve loved to write this letter to him (which would be quite embarrassing as well), I thought it would be more appropriately awkward to write a letter to you, E.

(Because let’s face it, I am the QUEEN of awkward situations. And you would know that.)

Back to topic… again.

I really don’t know what to say to you, E.

I liked you for what… 2-3 years? We obviously never became a thing. You just remained my crush. Thankfully, I was able to move on and let go of such teenage rapture.

I don’t know how life’s going for you, but I do hope that everything is going well. I hope you’ve achieved all that you wanted to, or are at least on your way there.

Are you still in Saipan?

If you are, I hope we don’t run into each other. Or if we do, then I guess that’s okay too.

I doubt you remember me anyway.

I don’t remember having any ill feelings towards you, even up to this day. I accepted a long time ago that my feelings were one-sided, and that’s really okay. I don’t think I would’ve been able to handle being in a relationship at that age anyway. My mind was still way too immature, and I was having fun with my friends by my side.

But, thank you.

Thanks for allowing me to experience feelings on a more romantic level for the first time. Thank you for not being rude about my feelings and for allowing time to help me move forward.

I guess that’s it.

Take care, E.