I Miss You, Kuya

Hi Kuya,

It’s been over a decade since we’ve last seen each other. You were the epitome of an older brother I’ve always dreamt of having, and it deeply wounded me when our paths no longer crossed.

Kuya, we’ve had many memories together, but the most treasured memory for me would be our bike rides.

I didn’t have a bike of my own, so when we wanted to go on adventures around the neighborhood, you made me sit in the space between the handlebars and chair. I remember having to put up my feet just so my heels wouldn’t get scratched by the wheels. Of course, there were accidental scrapes, but nothing was ever too major. Simply getting to spend time with you and exploring any nook and cranny we come across made any scrape an adventure scrape.

And at the end of the day, you always made me feel, and kept me, safe.

Kuya, we practically lost touch when I was entering my teenage years, but there wasn’t a single moment when I stopped hoping that you’d reach out to me and that I was still considered your little sister. I hoped you would’ve been there to scare away any guy who came near me and taught me how to drive a car or dance with me on my 18^th birthday.

But, everything was wishful thinking, I guess.

Years later, we met again, and I was thrilled to see you, but you seemed to not have the same enthusiasm as I did. I guess that’s when I knew we would never go back to that same brother riding a bike with his younger sister sitting in between the handlebars and chair.

But it’s okay. You already have one biological baby sister who I know you love and cherish wholeheartedly, and I’m just glad to have met you both and be in your lives for some time in this lifetime.

Kuya, no matter what happens, I just want to thank you for being one of the best older brothers I could ever have. Thank you for teaching me how to play chess, for helping me with assignments, and for taking care of me when my parents were both at work.

I don’t know if we’ll ever see each other in person again, but if we do, I’ll probably be the quietest person you were to ever encounter.

Or, I would hug you so tight that you might lack some oxygen.

I hope life has been good for you. I hope you achieved your goals, or are on your way to achieving them. I hope you found that one person with whom your soul connected.

There are many wishes I hoped would’ve happened throughout the years, one of them is to at least hug you and give our time together with a proper goodbye.

But, right now, I simply wish for you to be the happiest you’ve ever been and continue to be surrounded by peaceful and passionate energies that inspire you to be the best version of yourself every day. I wish you’d be smiling every day and making people laugh with that humor I’ve always enjoyed. I wish for you to live a blissful life and create many meaningful memories along the way.

And when you have a daughter, I hope you’ll take her on those bike ride adventures.