Fear.
Spiders;
Snakes;
Falling from really tall places;
Closed spaces.
I have had a ton of fears growing up.
Failing a class;
Being a laughingstock in high school;
Getting into/causing a car crash/accident;
Drowning.
In fact, one of my fears was not being able to overcome those fears.
And I know that there are some of them that will always be a part of me, but through healing and believing, they will not be as anxiety-inducing as they once are.
Change;
Rejection;
Getting hurt;
Uncertainty.
Oh boy was I terrified of those fears. I didn’t take them lightly and was always so strict when it came to them.
Throughout the past couple of years, however, I learned to embrace changes, rejections, getting hurt, and uncertainties. Shocking, I know.
It took me a while to realize that they are a big part of helping me learn, heal, and grow as a person. Even though I still fear experiencing them (who wouldn’t), whenever they do happen, I no longer feel as if the world is out to get me.
Instead, I take it as a sign that I am being led in a different direction, a route that matches exactly what I need to do, and who I need to be in certain aspects of my life.
And then there are the fears that are tougher to embrace, but I’ve managed to cope with and I’m still getting the hang of the idea that they will always be a part of how I live my life.
Just one part of how I live my life…
Nothing else will have the power to control how I live my life but me.
Especially not these fears –
Loneliness;
Being Judged;
Regret not having done something because I was afraid.
They will always be in the back of my mind, putting in their two cents, trying to lure me into imagining things that haven’t happened yet.
But I know that if I want to live a life that I can proudly look back on 50+ years from now, I need to stand my ground and live the life I am proud of.
No one else will be lying on my death bed but me, and I want to leave this life with a soft smile and a happy tear sliding down my cheek.
Failure;
Failure;
Failure;
Failure.
The term that is not afraid to taunt me almost every single day of my life, so much so that I had almost given it a persona.
But you know what? The more I put energy into worrying that I might not be successful, that energy will be powerful enough to come alive.
Not anymore.
Failure happens.
It’s bound to happen one way or another.
But just like a baby learning how to walk, whenever they fall, they take a moment to assess the situation and get back up again.
Failure grows stronger when we lose faith in ourselves and our abilities.
And I will no longer be giving it the energy it craves.
I have courage in my abilities.
I have courage in my goals.
I have courage in myself.
