I’ll Always Return To You, Saipan

Hi Saipan,

Out of all the places I could’ve taken my first breath of life, it was within your tropical landscape. For an island that’s about 12 miles long and 5.6 miles wide, you are worth a billion stars in my heart.

Saipan, you are one of the original mentors of my experiencing life one day at a time. Whether it’s your geographical location, or the sea breeze, or the lack of industrial corporations, you are a realistic escape from the mundane.

For a long time, I always believed that I could experience it all with you, Saipan. But then I stepped foot off your land, and it was as if a thousand needles had to be pinned on me in order for me to overcome my amazement at how little I actually knew of the world, of life, and even of myself.

Away from your protective barrier, Saipan, I experienced immense heartache, uncontrollable fear, and a new level of loneliness. After some reflection, I learned that nothing could have prepared me for any of them, especially when I stayed with you. And I really wanted to go back to you, Saipan. Everything became too much for me – the pain, the doubt, the illusions. I wanted to be in your safe haven again.

But we both knew that that wasn’t the best for me. Because with all of the gray clouds, I knew the sun would be right behind them, waiting for its moment to shine again.

And it did.

When I stepped out of your comfort bubble, Saipan, I would’ve never expected to become fiercely independent and unfathomably courageous. Broken relationships had been healed. Old habits stayed with you, while healthy habits were born.

I witnessed lovely scenery that reminded me of just how small I am compared to the world around me. People with personalities at the far end of my spectrum, but are still a thrill to be around. I was inspired by the number of creative geniuses I was lucky to study in the same room.

I gained lifelong lessons about design, family, friendship, kindness, and most importantly, belief in myself and my abilities.

And I’m not quite done exploring the world.

There are thousands of more sights to see and adventures to experience that I desire, even with you. Life may take me hundreds or thousands of miles away from you, but even without fighting it or second-guessing, I can’t deny my heart. I can’t ignore the physical location of where it calls home.

For my heart, just know that I will always return to you, Saipan.

No matter the length of time it takes me to see you again, I promise that I will step foot on your soft sands and lush grass, and breathe in your tropical air as much as I can, for as long as I can.

You can’t get rid of me easily.

I am happy to see you bloom.

I am blessed to experience your gentleness.

I am honored to call you my home.