Hi…
I remember the first time I first saw you. It was after him.
You just showed up one day over a decade ago, and have managed to make me feel things I’ve never felt before.
You made me smile. You made me laugh. You made me cry.
Yet somehow when you stare at me with those intense eyes of yours, I can’t seem to break the hold you have over me.
Every time I thought you left for good, you came back and made all the pain I’ve been feeling go away. You always knew just what I was feeling even when I never had to say a word, and you managed to say the words to get the sound of laughter coming out of me with the weight on my chest feeling much lighter.
I don’t… I don’t even know your real name and have been calling you a nickname I found suiting at the time. But with you, a name doesn’t make up for the moments spent seeing you smile, concentrating on the things that get you excited to wake up every morning. Or feeling your positive, upbeat personality towards any situation or challenge that comes your way.
You were always the “more action, less talk” kind of person, but you’d drop everything in a heartbeat just to hear me recall my day or excitedly explain this new TV show/movie/book I’m into or get me to confess what’s causing me to start building that wall I always build whenever I’m trying to escape from everything and everyone.
You were perfect.
Too perfect.
As hard as I tried, it was difficult to find flaws in you. It’s as if you came out from the fairytale universe and are simply trying to enforce that happily ever after into the lives of people in this universe.
And out of everyone you’ve wanted to personally help you on such a mission, you’ve chosen an awkward wallflower who seemed to lack complete confidence in myself and had no idea how to live my life.
But, you never saw that about me, did you? Instead, you saw the strengths I possessed even if they were still hidden from my own self.
You were there to catch me when I fell, and now… now you’re ready to see me soar above the clouds.
You’ve been feeling me drift away from you for the last couple of years, and coming to terms with that I’m realizing my own value and purpose in life.
You’re realizing that your mission in this universe is completed and eventually, you’ll only be a distant memory to me. And, even though you’ve grown to be my companion, my friend, you must let me go. The love you’ve felt for me will never go away, I know that because my love for you will always occupy a space in my heart, even if I don’t exactly remember who it belongs to.
Which is why I’m writing you this letter. That way, years into the future, when I decide to read my old writings, I’ll stumble upon this one.
Then, I’ll remember and I’ll always be grateful for having you in my life.
