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I am attractive.
I am intelligent.
I am wealthy.
I am powerful.
Better than everyone else.
Stronger.
Braver.
Wiser.
My force is unstoppable.
My ideas are unbeatable.
I am more than enough.
I am the change that the world needs.
I strut to the loo.
Smiling devilishly at myself for
Beating out the competition.
Was that all they got?
Did they think they can defeat me?
Do they not know who I am?
The power that I possess?
I know I’m good, but
From time to time,
I love showing how great I truly am.
I look at myself in the mirror one more time.
Before I leave, something catches my attention.
My smile disappears.
Just how great am I?
This thought starts to plague my mind.
I see it swirling inside my eyes.
I snap out of my trance.
And I remove such nonsense from my head.
I put on my confident smile.
And I leave the loo.
I’m sitting in my office.
The sun has already set.
I finish my day’s work.
To begin tomorrow’s work.
Not able to slack off after everything
I have set out for.
Suddenly, I hear yelling.
Thinking it was out of fear,
I run towards the sound.
Hoping I’ll be the savior.
However, as I approach the sound,
I realize the noise was far from fear.
It was more of
Being needy.
Desperation.
Frustration.
Selfishness.
Anger.
Jealousy.
I’m struggling to recognize this person.
It’s as if I should know them.
But, I don’t want to.
The office space seems as if it had
Been hit by a hurricane.
Everything disheveled.
I finally get a glimpse of the person.
A woman.
She looks a lot older than I do.
She’s angrily talking to someone on her phone.
Saying how she won’t have time
To visit her sick mom at the hospital.
That she’s too busy, and
The company relies on her – no one else.
She can’t afford to risk distractions.
She refuses.
The only thing she can — no, will do
Is to send money and flowers.
And pray for peace.
I walk back to my office.
Before I enter, I take one last glance at the woman.
She ended the call and is now
Frantically typing away on her laptop.
Something I was doing just minutes ago.
She doesn’t seem fazed that she’s about to
Lose the one person that gifted her life.
All because she wanted to remain
Number one in the eyes of everyone else.
People who wish nothing more than to
I go on social media.
It’s been a while.
50 friend requests.
75 unread messages.
10 birthday greetings.
I scroll through my newsfeed first.
Tons of photos from friends during my school years.
They all seem happy.
They have families.
They’re traveling the world.
I then go through my messages.
One quickly catches my attention.
Mom.
Message sent six months ago.
Doctors diagnosed her with a terminal illness.
Incurable.
Six months to live.
I grab my phone to dial a
Number I haven’t dialed in months.
No answer.
I ring up my father.
He gives me the hospital name.
Forgetting everything,
My mother.
She’s in a hospital bed.
Wires attached to her.
I slowly make my way towards her.
My eyes start to fill up with tears.
I reach her and tentatively hold her fragile hand.
She slowly opens her eyes,
And whispers,
“You’re here.”
And that’s when I couldn’t hold it anymore.
I drop my purse to the ground.
The tears no longer contained.
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Her arms wrap around me.
And I once again felt safe.
I felt loved.
Forgiveness.
I never want to let go.
My mother, however,
I feel the white cloth falling.
I place all of my things in boxes.
What used to be cold and lonely,
Is now just empty.
People look at me as I pack up my last box.
Just like them,
I am shocked to find myself leaving this place.
The place where I built my empire.
My reputation.
My pride.
I can no longer look at these walls
And feel the exhilaration.
I no longer feel the motivation.
But for once,
As I close my laptop for the last time in this space,
I am beautiful.
I am gifted.
I am blessed.
I am influential.
The same as everyone else.
Happy.
Loved.
Experienced.
I am where I need to be.
I am one out of millions who can change the world.
